In some ways, this is an apology; in other ways, an announcement. Let’s start with the apology – the giant elephant on the page – my seeming disappearance from the blogosphere. Sixty-three long days ago I posted my previous entry. The following week I sat down, keyboard at ready, to begin sketching out another brilliant, insightful masterpiece of a post. Instead… nothing. Not nothing in the sense of writer’s block. I’ve faced that one down before. Words came tumbling out of my head as I sat there, waiting to interface with the blinking cursor. But these words were filled with the crunchy, hollow nothingness of unimportance: verbal static of lackluster inspiration drawn from a static, lackluster life. I could have regaled you, dear reader, with further stories of mountain-centric life. I could have spoken with glee about my new, adorable puppy. I could have tried to extract a deeply personal truth and lay it plain here. All of that felt somehow flat – nothing I could write about would have been authentic or of any real interest to anyone (except perhaps my mother). I hadn’t taken any epiphanic leaps or stumbled through any life changes. I was no longer bound by the Third Goal of sharing culture, and even so the culture of the mountain can only be a topic of so many blogs before it becomes droll. My words had no weighty impetus, forcing their way onto the page in front of me. Instead, I bowed out. For that, dear read, I am sorry.
Static itself is not always a bad thing. When I say my life has stagnated, it implies a certain consistency, a low underlying hum of sameness. I think I desperately needed some sameness. Don’t interpret this to mean my life has become boring. I’ve spent the last sixty-three days rediscovering my old excitements. I’ve spent them reconnecting with myself. I’ve also spent quite a lot of time apply for jobs – but that is a topic for another time. As the days since my last post grew longer, the requisite gravity of the next post also grew. I had to come back with some grand realization or some incredible development in my life story – unfortunately this post has neither. My life continues plodding its way forward, all the while the same.
Trouble is Brewing
In fact, my current life is a bit like brewing a beer. Intense activity is followed by weeks of waiting. Even once you bottle your beer, it sits in the back of the closet, allowing the yeast to consume additional sugar in order to create effervescent carbonation. What is in essence a few hours of work is stretched out over six weeks. Ingredients interact under the pretense of nothing is happening – an incognito transformation.
My return to brewing has had it’s pitfalls. More than 18 months have passed since my last batch, so I had to relearn some techniques. I had also forgotten just how tedious the sanitation process can be. Despite that, a new batch is done and a second will shortly be on its way!
Falling in Love, One Book at a Time
The more dedicated and astute among my readership will have noticed small changes to this blog here and there. In particular, you would have witnessed the continual updating of the Book Challenge page. I’ve stayed up many long nights turning page after page in books that I think are my favorite. Then I pick up the next one. This year has been so full of incredible stories that I would be hard pressed to pick just one. I’m not devouring them at the same pace as my Peace Corps self – other things exist here to occupy my time. Even so, I find it. Reading defines who I am: there are many descriptors but reader is an essential one.
Antecedents are Hard
Another recent activity which has taken up much of my time is my new educational pursuits. Deep diving back into grammar practices has made me acutely aware of my own writing. In the end it may result in better prose – but for the moment I am overanalyzing each comma and hyphen I use. Even now, at this very moment, I am contemplating the structure of this sentence. It seems ok, if a bit wordy. This constant self-editing certainly detracts from the creative flow of putting words on the screen. My mind is racing around looking for things to edit, it can’t easily focus on words to make sense. I can barely form sentences as it is, so correcting them halfway through leaves my brain in a tizzy.
A Run Through the Tulips… and mud
Another wonderful reentry into my recent life has been the reintroduction of running. I bitterly complain about running on a mountain where the potential running paths are more vertical than they are horizontal. This doesn’t stop me from signing up for every potential 5K I can. The muddier the better. I find great satisfaction in completing a race, and even greater satisfaction when I come home head to toe filthy dirty. My times are slow, and soon I hope to work towards getting them down – but I’m not running to win, I’m running to be happy. It is certainly working.
Stitching It All Together
I have found bits of inspiration, which will make their full appearance in the coming weeks – I have several posts already lined up in my head. So while the last sixty-three days has been a miasma of monotony, there is a current of change. Part of this inspiration is to do with my aforementioned mother who is beginning to grasp the realness of entrepreneurship, part is to do with a city I’ve only been to twice. But as River Song might say… spoilers!
But these hints aren’t the only potential additions you might see. The brief announcement this week: apart from reconnecting with this blog and following through on writing up some new content, I will be writing things here for one of my online courses. Some of these posts may be a bit nonsequeter or a bit of a divergence from my normal tone or writing style. I will, of course, do my best to incorporate my class posts into the tone and tenor of The Serendipitous Life. Be prepared!